Monthly Archive for October, 2011

Teen Trap #4: Sexual Impurity

by Jonas Harley | October 20, 2011

The #1 trap Satan would love for you to fall into is the trap of sexual impurity. Sex is a very sacred subject with very high consequences! Your response to this post could save you from a broken marriage, broken home, divorce, unplanned children, infidelity, etc.

You need to know the truth about sex! Sadly, generations of parents have stopped teaching their children about sex. You need guidance and a place of safety where you can transparently talk about these things. The reason many teens are giving in to sexual impurity is because they don’t what is real and what is fake. Pop-culture and Satan are doing a good job at twisting and distorting the truth. Anything of value is worth fighting for!

A Biblical example of sexual impurity is found in 2 Samuel 11:1-27. King David places himself into an environment where he would be sexually tempted. He bows to that temptation and has sex with another man’s wife, Bathsheba. King David finds out that she is pregnant and goes into panic mode to cover up his sexual sin. That doesn’t work and David ends up paying a very high price tag for his sexual impurity! V.27, “But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.”

A Biblical example of sexual purity is found in Genesis 39:1-23. Joseph is working diligently as a servant in Potiphar’s house and has an opportunity to have sex with another man’s wife. Potiphar’s wife day after day hounds Joseph to have sex with her and Joseph refuses because he wants to honor and obey God. He eventually removes himself from this sexual temptation and God blesses and promotes Joseph and greatly uses him later in Pharaoh’s kingdom. V.23, “…the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the Lord made it to prosper.”

 7 Statements about Sexual Impurity

1. I understand that sex is a sensitive and critical topic regarding my life and future. – This contradicts everything pop-culture wants you to believe. They want to joke about this, they lie about this, they are seeking to pervert your thinking, and it’s no big deal! I’m here to tell you that how you view sex WILL determine the kind of future you will have.

2. I acknowledge that out of all the ways Satan can trap me, sexual impurity is the #1 way! –Satan is seeking to destroy your teen years so you will have a terrible adult life with lots of emotional baggage, guilt, and regret. He wants to paralyze any potential you have for serving God. So, he uses SEX to do that. Sex is the #1 target he has on your back right now. He wants you to be out-of-control sexually! He wants you to be led around by your sexual desires and emotions. Doesn’t it make sense now why every TV show, movie, song, marketing commercial is focused on sex?!  PROTECT YOUR PURITY!

3. It is vital that I maintain a close relationship with authority (preferably my parents) that can help me know the truth about sex from the Bible. – Parents have a tough time talking to their kids about sex. It’s uncomfortable. The easy thing to do is just to talk to your friends about it or watch a movie, but when you talk to your parents about sex you will get PURE truth!!! You need to ask questions to someone who loves you and wants to protect you!! (If your parents haven’t or won’t, please talk to your youth pastor and wife). YOU NEED PURE TRUTH!

4. The reason I have sexual desires as a teenager is so I can prepare for a pure marriage and adult life. – Think about this…do you ever wonder why God activates you sexually at like 12 or 13, but then you have to wait like 10 years before you can fulfill those desires in the boundaries of marriage? Wanna know why? God wants you to have time to prepare for a pure marriage and adult life! Before puberty teen boys are still building tree forts with “no girls allowed” signs and girls are playing with Barbie dolls! You aren’t thinking about marriage, love, relationships, and SEX. But NOW…this stuff gets your attention, you are drawn to many of these things. You need time to prepare to deal with these physical and emotional changes. What better time to prepare than in your teen years! DON’T FIGHT OR NEGLECT THE PREPARATION!

5. I must remove myself from any environments that are perverting and defiling my sexual purity. – You will continue to get pumped with all kinds of lies about sex until you remove yourself from those environments. Do what Joseph did! Put on your running shoes!

6. I believe that sexual purity before marriage is the best way to start an awesome marriage! – I promise you that if you keep yourself pure for your wedding day you will be on a biblical foundation for that marriage! This is God’s way (Gen. 2:24-25)!

7. I believe God’s plan and will commit myself to sexual purity. Stay Pure! Stay Pure! Stay Pure! – God wants you to remain pure, because God is a pure and holy God. You must reflect that in your life. Teenagers and young adults today who are sexually pure are rare and will present many witnessing opportunities.

Someone, somewhere, at some point will try to get you to become sexually active in some way. If you choose to remain sexually pure in a sexually impure world, God will give you the gift of awesome life!

Finish this statement: In order for me to remain sexually pure I will . . .

Credit: A part of this outline is adapted from Cary Schmidt, student pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church. He has made his sermon material available for this study on Teen Traps. 

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Teen Trap #3: Decision Making

by Jonas Harley | October 13, 2011

Traps are intentionally designed to look attractive and fun, but are based in hurt, pain, and deceit. Right now, Satan is strategically placing traps in and around your life hoping to ruin your future. The next trap is DECISION MAKING.

An example of bad decision making is found in 1 Kings 12:1-19. King Rehoboam is installed as the king and the people make a request of less work and lower taxes. Rehoboam rejects counsel from older men (guys who have lots of wisdom through years and experience) and listens and accepts the counsel from his the younger men (his peers) and the nation of Israel is divided.  You are just one bad decision away from spiritual destruction!

An example of good decision making is found in Exodus 18:1-27. Moses is single-handedly carrying out the responsibility of upholding the OT law day in and day out, to the point where he is exhausting himself physically. Jethro, Moses father-in-law, presents some wise counsel and Moses graciously accepts it. As a result, Moses’ responsibilities got easier and God continued to bless his life and ministry! You are just one good decision away from spiritual construction!

-7 Statements about Decision Making-

1. Everyone is faced with making decisions regarding their future. I’m not alone! – During your teen years is when you are going to make some of the most monumental life-changing decisions. You can’t escape this! There will always be decisions to make especially during this time of your life.

2. The people I spend the most time with will greatly influence my decision making. – Basically 2 reasons why this happens:

  1. Fear – Because of fear and the desire to be accepted by others. You don’t want to upset or disappoint anyone.
  2. Popularity – Many teens tend to do what everyone else is doing. It must be right it a lot of people are making that same decisions.

3. Godly decision making starts with a desire to honor and obey God. – You see this clearly in our Biblical examples. Rehoboam wanted to please self and Moses wanted to please God. That is why they had different outcomes. If you want to make godly decisions in your life it MUST begin with a desire to honor and obey God.

4. I must take time to think through how my decisions will impact myself and others. – In the heat of a decision it is easy to do what instantly gratifies or fixes the problem, but what about the long-term impact? How will this affect me and other people around me?

5. I must value the counsel of the spiritual leaders in my life. They really care and love me! – This is huge! You have access to many spiritual leaders (Pastor, parents, youth leaders, etc). Take time to sit down with these types of people and value their advice. Don’t feel like they are going to trash and belittle your ideas, dreams, or goals. They love you!

6. If I’m fearful and/or negligent of seeking godly counsel, I’m heading in an unsafe direction. – It’s easy to go through your teen years thinking that you can handle these life-changing decisions with no help/counsel. YOU ARE WRONG! The spiritual leaders in your life know and can see things that you can’t. This will help you tremendously! If you aren’t taking time to seek godly counsel then you are heading in an unsafe direction.

  •  Prov. 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
  •  Prov. 15:22, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.”

7. I will make a habit of taking my future decisions to God waaaaay before I have to make them. I will avoid making hasty decisions! – It is difficult to watch teenagers make panicked/hasty decisions that will change their life. The reason why many teens wait to the very last possible moment to make a big decision is, I believe, due to the lack of taking it before God in prayer and fear of what the future holds. Not that you need to have your whole life mapped out in every detail, but you need to intentionally take these enormous decisions before the Lord waaaaay before you have to make them. This will enable you to trust God with your unknown future. Stop ignoring the future decisions you have rapidly coming up. Don’t fall into the trap of making hasty (quick) decisions.

 -Application-

1. What future decisions do I have coming up? – Make a list of upcoming substantial decisions you have to make. Go ahead and recognize them. Get them on your radar! Face it!

2. Who am I going to seek counsel from? – Start now seeking godly counsel about these significant decisions. It will help you and keep you from a ruined life.

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Teen Trap #2: Peer Pressure

by Jonas Harley | October 6, 2011

Traps are set all throughout your teen & adult life. These traps look attractive and sweet, but underneath there is a lot of pain and hurt. The second trap is the trap of PEER PRESSURE.

What is Peer Pressure? “It is the pressure you experience by the social environments you choose to place yourself in.”

When you are placed into a social environment you will always feel pressure to be accepted (conform to the standard, go with the flow). When you submit to the wrong kinds of peer pressure you stop thinking rationally, you stop thinking about the big picture in life, and you get tunnel vision about being “cool” at that particular moment in time.

In 2 Samuel 13:1-19 you will find a negative example of peer pressure: Amnon. Amnon listened to his friend Jonadab and ruined his life, all because he wanted to please his peers. Open your Bible and read the story.

In Daniel 1:8-20 you will find a positive example of peer pressure: Daniel. Daniel was placed into a social environment of royalty and he decided to exert positive peer pressure of obeying God rather than man. What happens?! 3 other guys stand with him and God greatly blesses them.

Here are 7 Statements about Peer Pressure:

1. Everyone experiences peer pressure. You are not alone! – Every person has faced negative and positive peer pressure. Don’t feel like you are the only one!

2. The friends you choose have a huge influence on the kind of person you will become. – Most likely your character right now is the product of the friends you have chosen. Furthermore, your future will be influenced the friendships you maintain and make. Are hanging out with Jonadabs or Daniels?

3. The friends you choose have huge impact on the decisions you make. –Your music selections, your dress standards, your dating standards (or lack thereof), your communication, your media selections, your brand of clothes, your view of family, your college decisions, your career dream, your relationships, etc is primarily due to the friends you have right now! Seek to magnify God!

4. You must recognize that “Christian Friends” will not always be a good influence on you. – Sadly, just because someone states that they are a Christian, DOES NOT mean you can automatically hang out with them. There are Christian schools and churches PACKED with professing Christians who have no ambition to please God. Apply discernment!

5. As a friend, your influence on others is huge. What kind of pressure do you exert? – Stop and think about what kind of friend you are to others? Are you a Jonadab or a Daniel? Most likely you will attract what you are like.

6. You must decide to choose strong friends who will help you walk with God. – As you evaluate your list of friends, do they help or hinder your walk with God? Do you feel challenged to take your next step spiritually or do you feel like you have to “get right” after spending time with a friend?

7. You must decide in advance how you will respond to key-life choices (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). – The reason Daniel was able to obey God in such an intimidating environment was because he decided way in advance what he was going to do! Right now, you need to decide in advance what you are going to do when offered drugs, invited to go clubbing, tempted to make-out in the backseat of the car, what you are going to wear at the Jr/Sr banquet (prom), behave at a weekend sleepover, etc.

Before you decide to emerge yourself into any kind of social environment,  ask yourself the following 2 questions…

1. What kind of peer pressure am I going to face? – Whatever social environment you are placed in, think about what kind of peer pressure you are going to face Jonadab-type peer pressure or Daniel-type peer pressure?

2. How am I going to handle it? –The main question is how are you going to respond to it? Are you going to please man or obey God?

Credit: Much of this outline is adapted from Cary Schmidt, student pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church. He has made his sermon material available for this study on Teen Traps. 

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