Road To Adulthood Even Longer!

The New York Times recently published an article entitled, “Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer” by Patricia Cohen. The article reveals how research indicates that people between the ages of 20 and 34 are taking longer to finish their educations, establish themselves in careers, marry, have children and become financially independent. Frank Furstenberg, leader of the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood, states, “A new period of life is emerging in which young people are no longer adolescents but not yet adults.” The rest of the article continues to give possible reasons and stats for this survey.

I would like to submit to you 4 reasons that build upon each other why this is happening.

1. Refusal to take on Personal Responsibility – According to this article, “More people in their 20s are also living with their parents. About one-fourth of 25-year-old white men lived at home in 2007.”  Right now, there is a failure, more like a refusal, to launch into adulthood responsibilities. These 20-somethings are increasing choosing to stay in the state of limbo longer. We are living in a day where commitment is harder to find because we are afraid of making the wrong decision, missing out on something better, or what others will think. Furthermore, by extending the road to adulthood it will give these 20-somethings more avenues to point the blame if something doesn’t work out. Biblically speaking, I firmly believe that we must encourage young adults to reject this trend of immaturity and irresponsibility. Why is this happening? #2

2. Micro-Managing Parenting – The article states that there is a “…sizable contribution from parents…” that is hindering the next generation. This is due to micro-managing parenting (also known as helicopter parenting) which has been heavily promoted by “parenting psychologists” who stress to parents that the more involved they are in their children’s lives, the better parents they are! This is where parents unknowingly create their children to always depend on them for everything. For example, there have been articles released explaining how parents are showing up at job fairs and interviews with their college educated kids! It is no wonder why 20-somethings don’t want to take on personal responsibility (see #1), because they are so convinced that mom, dad, or government will succeed for them, which only intensifies entitlement and a socialistic mindset (sound familiar?)! The bottom-line is that hovering parents actually cause their children to be helpless, lazy, and dependent. Why is this happening? #3

3. Marriage Roles are Shifting – As the article unfolds you read about how the average age for marriage and parenthood is rising due to academic and career pursuits, the previous generation not making it attractive, and the erosion of traditional values. Looking at this through the lens of a biblical worldview, what really is taking place is a shifting of roles in society, marriage, and the home. To be blunt, women are leading men and men are submitting to women in those three areas. That is not how God designed those areas to be operated according to Genesis 2:21-25; Deuteronomy 6:1-9; Ephesians 5:22-33; and Colossians 3:18-21. Furthermore, the reason many parents are micro-managing is due to the fact they are neglecting their roles in marriage and the home. The roles of husband and wife have been replaced with the roles of father and mother. They are not focused on each other, but on their children. In other words, they pay more attention to, do more things for, give more time to, talk more about, and give more concerned about their children than they do about each other. Because of this inside-out, upside-down family situation it leads to divorce, encourages micro-parenting, and extends the road to adulthood for the next generation. Why is this happening? #4

4. Selfishness – Throughout this New York Times article you will notice self-centered comments being made by the interviewees. This just confirms what the Bible states about the culture we live in of pride and selfishness (2 Timothy 3:1-5). The root of dysfunctional marriages and parenting is caused by selfishness, the desire to please self. Therefore, this selfishness is being transferred to the next generation and is being manifested by their unwillingness to take on adult responsibility. Selfish living always bears sinful consequences.

In summary, selfish living results in faulty marriages and insecure parenting which causes the next generation to refuse personal responsibility and ultimately extends the road to adulthood.  

We often joke about not wanting to grow up and being a “toys-r-us” kid for the rest of our life, but this trend is killing the next generation and causing us to miss out on an awesome opportunity to biblically shepherd them.

What does the article show us? It shows us that young adults are searching for answers in a world that provides none. 20-somethings and 30-somethings are prime candidates for the joy and success that Christ can bring!