Tag Archive for 'Family'

Baby Talk!

by Jonas Harley | August 13, 2010

On Wednesday, July 28, 2010, at 9:44pm my son Justin was born at a whopping and healthy 11 pounds and 12 ounces! This was a remarkable and unforgettable experience that only gets better! Throughout the entire birthing of my son the Lord personally taught and reminded me of several biblical lessons.

1. God’s Love for Me – I was closely watching and rapidly taking pictures in the operating room after my wife gave birth to Justin via C-section. When there was a brief pause in the action I leaned over and told Justin, “I love you” for the first time face to face and that is when the tears started to uncontrollably fall. It was also at that time that I was visually and vividly reminded just how much my Heavenly Father loves me! “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God…” – 1 John 3:1  “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present , nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39.

2. God’s Creation – As they got baby Justin wrapped up they handed him to me to hold for the very first and I then presented him to my wife! After some smiles and tears the operation staff asked for his name.  I recently started reading through Genesis for devotions and a couple of days before we came to deliver I underlined Genesis 5:1-3 which says, “In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created. And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, and after his image; and called his name Seth.” I couldn’t but think that I received the wonderful privilege to bear a son in my own image and name him!  

3. Hunger for Food – Throughout our stay in the hospital, feeding baby Justin has obviously become an essential! Daily nutrition is vital for physical growth, especially for newborns! In the same manner, spiritual food is essential for spiritual growth. Watching my son yearn, crave, and long for “food” has sharply reminded me, do I hunger for God’s Word in the same way? Am I eager to get to the supply that gives me spiritual nourishment? “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.” –1 Peter 2:2.

4. The Need for Regular Checkups – Many times during the day and night the hospital staff came in to do regular checkups on my wife and son. They checked blood pressure, took their temperature, listen to their heartbeat, asked questions, checked supplies, offered advice, examined vital signs, changed his diaper, and so forth. The hospital staff was very faithful and regular in performing these physical checkups to assure that everything was being assessed properly. Their dedication to the physical well-being of my family caused me to ask the question, do I diligently perform regular and daily spiritual checkups on my walk with God to assure my spiritual well-being is headed in the right direction? Convicting! How is my prayer life? My Bible reading? My witnessing? My priorities? Many Christians often neglect performing evaluations of their spiritual growth and causes them to derail. “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” – 2 Corinthians 13:5.    

5. Children are a Blessing from God – God’s promise that children are a blessing is true! No matter what age my child is, having children is a direct blessing from God Almighty and I always want to maintain this viewpoint! “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.” –Psalm 127:3-5.

6. Worthwhile Wait – Having children inside the boundaries of a God-ordained heterosexual (one man + one woman for one lifetime) marriage is definitely the only way to go. Staying pure is worth the wait! “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That everyone of you should know how to posses his vessel [body] in sanctification and honor.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.

Furthermore, childbearing inside the realm of marriage is very rewarding, guilt-free, and liberating! Why? Because it’s God’s way! “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it…” – Genesis 1:27-28.

I’m praising the Lord for my wife’s strong recovery and my son’s healthy delivery! What an amazing time and looking forward to biblically shepherding my family to boldly live for God! Exciting times ahead!

  • Share/Bookmark
Post a Comment: 1 Comment

Road To Adulthood Even Longer!

by Jonas Harley | June 22, 2010

The New York Times recently published an article entitled, “Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer” by Patricia Cohen. The article reveals how research indicates that people between the ages of 20 and 34 are taking longer to finish their educations, establish themselves in careers, marry, have children and become financially independent. Frank Furstenberg, leader of the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood, states, “A new period of life is emerging in which young people are no longer adolescents but not yet adults.” The rest of the article continues to give possible reasons and stats for this survey.

I would like to submit to you 4 reasons that build upon each other why this is happening.

1. Refusal to take on Personal Responsibility – According to this article, “More people in their 20s are also living with their parents. About one-fourth of 25-year-old white men lived at home in 2007.”  Right now, there is a failure, more like a refusal, to launch into adulthood responsibilities. These 20-somethings are increasing choosing to stay in the state of limbo longer. We are living in a day where commitment is harder to find because we are afraid of making the wrong decision, missing out on something better, or what others will think. Furthermore, by extending the road to adulthood it will give these 20-somethings more avenues to point the blame if something doesn’t work out. Biblically speaking, I firmly believe that we must encourage young adults to reject this trend of immaturity and irresponsibility. Why is this happening? #2

2. Micro-Managing Parenting – The article states that there is a “…sizable contribution from parents…” that is hindering the next generation. This is due to micro-managing parenting (also known as helicopter parenting) which has been heavily promoted by “parenting psychologists” who stress to parents that the more involved they are in their children’s lives, the better parents they are! This is where parents unknowingly create their children to always depend on them for everything. For example, there have been articles released explaining how parents are showing up at job fairs and interviews with their college educated kids! It is no wonder why 20-somethings don’t want to take on personal responsibility (see #1), because they are so convinced that mom, dad, or government will succeed for them, which only intensifies entitlement and a socialistic mindset (sound familiar?)! The bottom-line is that hovering parents actually cause their children to be helpless, lazy, and dependent. Why is this happening? #3

3. Marriage Roles are Shifting – As the article unfolds you read about how the average age for marriage and parenthood is rising due to academic and career pursuits, the previous generation not making it attractive, and the erosion of traditional values. Looking at this through the lens of a biblical worldview, what really is taking place is a shifting of roles in society, marriage, and the home. To be blunt, women are leading men and men are submitting to women in those three areas. That is not how God designed those areas to be operated according to Genesis 2:21-25; Deuteronomy 6:1-9; Ephesians 5:22-33; and Colossians 3:18-21. Furthermore, the reason many parents are micro-managing is due to the fact they are neglecting their roles in marriage and the home. The roles of husband and wife have been replaced with the roles of father and mother. They are not focused on each other, but on their children. In other words, they pay more attention to, do more things for, give more time to, talk more about, and give more concerned about their children than they do about each other. Because of this inside-out, upside-down family situation it leads to divorce, encourages micro-parenting, and extends the road to adulthood for the next generation. Why is this happening? #4

4. Selfishness – Throughout this New York Times article you will notice self-centered comments being made by the interviewees. This just confirms what the Bible states about the culture we live in of pride and selfishness (2 Timothy 3:1-5). The root of dysfunctional marriages and parenting is caused by selfishness, the desire to please self. Therefore, this selfishness is being transferred to the next generation and is being manifested by their unwillingness to take on adult responsibility. Selfish living always bears sinful consequences.

In summary, selfish living results in faulty marriages and insecure parenting which causes the next generation to refuse personal responsibility and ultimately extends the road to adulthood.  

We often joke about not wanting to grow up and being a “toys-r-us” kid for the rest of our life, but this trend is killing the next generation and causing us to miss out on an awesome opportunity to biblically shepherd them.

What does the article show us? It shows us that young adults are searching for answers in a world that provides none. 20-somethings and 30-somethings are prime candidates for the joy and success that Christ can bring! 

 

  • Share/Bookmark
Post a Comment: 1 Comment

Defeating the Media Monster, Pt. 2

by Jonas Harley | June 16, 2010

I’m addressing how we, as families, can defeat the Media monster that is saturating our culture and more importantly our homes. In my last post (see the one below) I presented the wrong reasons why we allow media into our homes and then listed the challenges media brings into our homes. We can have victory in the area of media, but we must be willing to execute the following steps. 

1. Engage as a Parent – We need Christian parents that will engage or re-engage and take an active role in biblically shepherding the next generation. Please read the parenting passages in the Bible those are found in Deut. 6, Eph.6, Col. 3. The reason the media monster is invading many homes is primarily because parents have failed to stay involved. Many parents have become lazy in managing their homes and the consequences are severe. So, how do we engage as parents in a media saturated culture?

  • Accept It – Embrace the fact that your children are living in a “high-tech” world! Go ahead and accept the fact that culture is not going back to cassette tapes, pay phones, land-lines, snail mail, and donkey kong! Many parents are in denial about the media or trying to stop it (good luck with that!). You must gear up and start preparing your children to live in a world that is saturated with media!
  • Get Involved – The best way you can defeat the “media monster” is through active participation! Don’t be afraid to participate in the media. You can’t afford to abandon the next generation and let them defeat the media monster! You must biblically take active roles in parenting in a high tech world! Now, this doesn’t mean you go out and create a profile on every social networking site nor buy every gadget that comes out on the market. Please use discernment. The best way you can get involved is by setting the pace. We have an incredible opportunity to set the example and biblically train the next generation! Your godly example will speak volumes to you’re the members of your family! Let them see you action! Here is good rule of thumb to follow: Whatever you allow your children to do, you should do it first. (For example, before you allow your child to have a Facebook you should take the time to learn the “ins and outs” first).

2. Establish a Biblical Philosophy- We need Christian families who will establish and execute a biblical philosophy regarding media usage! A philosophy is the framework by which you make your decisions regarding various things in life.  In other words, it is your objective, mission, and purpose in which you operate. Allow me to get you started on establishing a biblical philosophy in your home regarding media…  

  • Exalt God – Does this media provide opportunity to glorify God? (1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 1:20; Col. 3:17). Your primary focus as a parent must be to teach your children how to honor and love God (Deut. 6:5-9), that includes the area of media!
  • Edify Others – Does this media offer avenues to encourage other believers? (Prov. 16:24; Matt 12:36; Eph. 4:29-31). Too often, among Christians, there is gossip, slander, lying, criticism, immoral talk, filthy joking, etc. taking place in your communication. God and His Word have specifically commanded you to exhort, encourage one another.  You must demonstrate and teach your children how to do the same in life as well as through the media!
  • Evangelize the Lost – How will this media help us proclaim the truth to a lost world? (Matt. 28:19-20; Mk. 16:15).  According to the U.S. Census every 12 seconds someone dies in the USA. (www.census.gov). It is very easy to get our focus off of seeking to communicate the Truth of the Gospel. You must strive to use your media outlets to proclaim the Truth to every creature, along with face to face witnessing.  You must lead by example!

Once you establish a biblical philosophy YOU MUST execute it! Work God’s plan! You can’t be passive about it. This means taking an active stand on the Word of God in order to train your children in the way they should go! (Pr. 22:6).

3. Employ Practical Points- Here are some practical and helpful ways for you to defeat the Media Monster in your home.

  • Collect all usernames & passwords. This should be a must for all your children. It is not an invasion of privacy! Your child’s willingness for open accountability will reveal a lot about your child’s heart. (They must also know that you are accountable to your spouse).
  • Get on the media learning curve. Just like driving a car—first you learn, then you teach. The principle is the same with media. Simply—if you allow it, you must learn it. You can’t afford to have media outlets or gadgets in your home that you do not understand. This will also give you the edge on what’s entering the culture. It won’t be long before your child will be asking for it and if it is appropriate you will already have a head start. The USA Today has a great technology section that really stays in tune with what’s going on.
  • Provide healthy and productive alternatives to media. Help your children stay in balance by practicing moderation. Lead your children to read, play games, play a sport, learn an instrument, develop a hobby, etc.  
  • Install internet safety programs. It is best to have internet safety in your home, on your mobile phone, and in other areas where you have internet access. Safe Eyes is great internet software, please visit, www.internetsaftey.com.
  • Partner with your Pastor, side by side working together. You and your pastor are a team. He is there to help you biblically parent and help your child biblically submit to your leading. If you ever have any questions, concerns, or need advice, please go to him! He is your teammate!
  • Unplug on purpose. Disconnect from media so you can re-connect as a family. Many families are disconnected because they are so connected to everyone else. Plan times where all media is turn off, unplugged, put away, or even taken away and have good ole’ fashion “family time.”

It is possible to defeat the Media Monster and biblically guide your family in a “high-tech” world!  But it must start with you recognizing your biblical role as a parent and leading by example! I hope you desire to train up the next generation to use media in a way that honors the Lord and advances His purposes!

  • Share/Bookmark
Post a Comment: 4 Comments

Defeating the Media Monster!

by Jonas Harley | June 10, 2010

We are living in a day where technology is “parenting” the next generation on how to act, think, establish priorities, and make decisions. Let’s just be honest, the media monster is eating our families alive and seeking to spiritually destory! The Media Monster is all over the place! The L.A. Times recently reported that children, ages 8-18, spend nearly 8 hours per day on media! Click here to read the article. That is enough hours to be a full time job!

Before I inform you on how you can guide your family in a high tech world allow me to submit 7 wrong reasons why we allow media into our homes:

  1. Peer Pressure - We as parents as well as our children live in the “fear of man” from day to day. So we obey it by allowing media into our homes. “I want people to think well of me and my children. I don’t want them to feel left out.” Read Prov. 29:25.
  2. Acceptance- In many cases we don’t want our children to dislike us. We want them to be our friends. So we quickly do what they say. Friendship with your children is not achieved through giving them what they want, but by biblically parenting them! Deut. 6, Eph.6, Col. 3.
  3. To Eliminate Conflict- We are tired of the fighting, begging, and saying no. So we “give in”  in order to remove the conflict (or at least we think so!).  
  4. To Spoil- Oftentimes we want our children to have it better than we did. That’s understandable, however, if that is the reason for allowing media into our homes we are not “bring[ing] them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4).
  5. To “Show Off”- Our sinful love and desire for money and things can cause us to show off our success and we oftentimes use our children to do that.
  6. For Instant Communication- Let me explain, of course communication between family members is needed and in some cases necessary. I understand that. However, I believe we use this reason to justify media and really it’s a subtle way of saying we don’t trust in the sovereignty of God. Frankly, it could be a failure to know our God!
  7. Convenient Babysitter- This may not be the case for everyone, but it is for some. We are so busy with our careers, pursuing home projects, and other things that parenting our children is not something we have a lot of time to do. So we provide media items to occupy them. We are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to parent the next generation, because of our selfishness!  

Now, before I tell you how you can biblically guide your family in a high tech world allow me to present 5 challenges the Media Monster brings into our homes:

  1. Perversion- Allowing many outlets of media into our home increases the avenues in which filth can enter our homes. This challenge robs or threatens our purity!  2Tim. 2:22 - “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Rom. 16:19 - “…wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil.”
  2. Deception- The media of our culture is constantly proclaiming Satan’s lies about love, happiness, and life. Additionally, media provides ample opportunity for harmful communication (gossip, lies, slander), deceptive profiles (be someone else), and develop inappropriate relationships. This robs or threatens our integrity!
  3. Obsession- All forms of media tend to become dominant in our lives. In other words, we become “slaves” to our media items. These things literally become obsessions that hold us hostage and threaten our purpose! 1 Cor. 6:12 - “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
  4. Disconnection- The Media Monster is so prevailing in some families that is has overrun real family connections. There is less time for eye-to-eye contact, heart-to-heart conversations, and genuine interaction because of the abundance of media demanding our attention! We are familiar with everything in the world except each other! This robs our family! (Eph. 6:1-4).    
  5. Emptiness- This is the result of the previous 4 challenges. Uncontrolled media will leave us “chasing after the wind.” (Eccl. 1). This robs our identity!  

SO…how do we biblically defeat the Media Monster? I will tell you in my next post! Thanks for reading!

  • Share/Bookmark
Post a Comment: 1 Comment