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Category Archives: Parenting

Teen Trap #3: Decision Making

Traps are intentionally designed to look attractive and fun, but are based in hurt, pain, and deceit. Right now, Satan is strategically placing traps in and around your life hoping to ruin your future. The next trap is DECISION MAKING.

An example of bad decision making is found in 1 Kings 12:1-19. King Rehoboam is installed as the king and the people make a request of less work and lower taxes. Rehoboam rejects counsel from older men (guys who have lots of wisdom through years and experience) and listens and accepts the counsel from his the younger men (his peers) and the nation of Israel is divided.  You are just one bad decision away from spiritual destruction!

An example of good decision making is found in Exodus 18:1-27. Moses is single-handedly carrying out the responsibility of upholding the OT law day in and day out, to the point where he is exhausting himself physically. Jethro, Moses father-in-law, presents some wise counsel and Moses graciously accepts it. As a result, Moses’ responsibilities got easier and God continued to bless his life and ministry! You are just one good decision away from spiritual construction!

-7 Statements about Decision Making-

1. Everyone is faced with making decisions regarding their future. I’m not alone! – During your teen years is when you are going to make some of the most monumental life-changing decisions. You can’t escape this! There will always be decisions to make especially during this time of your life.

2. The people I spend the most time with will greatly influence my decision making. – Basically 2 reasons why this happens:

  1. Fear – Because of fear and the desire to be accepted by others. You don’t want to upset or disappoint anyone.
  2. Popularity – Many teens tend to do what everyone else is doing. It must be right it a lot of people are making that same decisions.

3. Godly decision making starts with a desire to honor and obey God. – You see this clearly in our Biblical examples. Rehoboam wanted to please self and Moses wanted to please God. That is why they had different outcomes. If you want to make godly decisions in your life it MUST begin with a desire to honor and obey God.

4. I must take time to think through how my decisions will impact myself and others. – In the heat of a decision it is easy to do what instantly gratifies or fixes the problem, but what about the long-term impact? How will this affect me and other people around me?

5. I must value the counsel of the spiritual leaders in my life. They really care and love me! – This is huge! You have access to many spiritual leaders (Pastor, parents, youth leaders, etc). Take time to sit down with these types of people and value their advice. Don’t feel like they are going to trash and belittle your ideas, dreams, or goals. They love you!

6. If I’m fearful and/or negligent of seeking godly counsel, I’m heading in an unsafe direction. – It’s easy to go through your teen years thinking that you can handle these life-changing decisions with no help/counsel. YOU ARE WRONG! The spiritual leaders in your life know and can see things that you can’t. This will help you tremendously! If you aren’t taking time to seek godly counsel then you are heading in an unsafe direction.

  •  Prov. 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
  •  Prov. 15:22, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.”

7. I will make a habit of taking my future decisions to God waaaaay before I have to make them. I will avoid making hasty decisions! – It is difficult to watch teenagers make panicked/hasty decisions that will change their life. The reason why many teens wait to the very last possible moment to make a big decision is, I believe, due to the lack of taking it before God in prayer and fear of what the future holds. Not that you need to have your whole life mapped out in every detail, but you need to intentionally take these enormous decisions before the Lord waaaaay before you have to make them. This will enable you to trust God with your unknown future. Stop ignoring the future decisions you have rapidly coming up. Don’t fall into the trap of making hasty (quick) decisions.

 -Application-

1. What future decisions do I have coming up? – Make a list of upcoming substantial decisions you have to make. Go ahead and recognize them. Get them on your radar! Face it!

2. Who am I going to seek counsel from? – Start now seeking godly counsel about these significant decisions. It will help you and keep you from a ruined life.

From the Mouth of Teens!

This is a post from my wonderful wife, Charity. Happy reading!

I had an experience today that not many people get to have. My husband, who is the youth pastor at our church, had just taken our youth group to The WILDS. (The WILDS is a Christian camp in North Carolina.) During Sunday school he was getting feedback from the teenagers, which he always does when we go on a big trip.

His most important question was “What does the WILDS do spiritually that you appreciate?”

Their answers were something you would rarely hear coming out of a teen’s mouth but were very eye opening to what kids really need from us as parents, teachers, and spiritual leaders. I hope their answers are as thought provoking to you as they were to me.

Again, the question asked to the teens was:

“What does the WILDS do spiritually that you appreciate?”

1. Emphasis on God’s Word

2. Planned God & I Time (Devotions)

3. No media distractions

4. Loving counselors/staff

5. Preaching

6. Preaching on relevant topics

7. Clear mission statement (1 Cor. 10:31).

8. Christ-centered music

9. Balance between spiritual things and fun things

10. Consistency in philosophy and expectations

11. Resources (books, sermons, devos books, etc)

12. Transparency from speakers and staff about issues in life

13. Scripture memory

14. Prayer partners

This is what I took away from this very honest and open time with our teens:

Teens want an environment saturated with God’s Word.

They want people to be making sure they do their devotions and memorize scripture.

The need someone to pray with them.

They need preaching that makes their faith sound by thoroughly explaining why we believe what we do from the Bible.

They need preaching that addresses real life issues. (And believe me, they know more about things they shouldn’t know about than you think!)

Those that are doing the preaching and teaching need to get rid of their pride and be transparent with their own struggles. The kids already know you’re not perfect and they appreciate it when you admit that.

Teens are interested in learning more and want help  studying God’s Word by using books and other materials that godly people have written.

They want a clear goal for their life that stays the same, with rules that are enforced. They need the people “making up the rules” to actually love and care for them in deed, not just in word.

They need guidelines when it comes to technology and media.

They want music that pleases Christ.

They need a balance of spiritual things and fun things.

Most families spend their free time with fun. Let’s change it up and spend some free time doing something to increase their faith. They need that balance.

WOW!!! I know most of the time we see kids that roll their eyes and look embarrassed when we do family devos or try to pray. They get defensive when you ask them what they learned in their time alone with God.

Our teens shared with us what they really need and I’m so thankful for their honesty.

We need to persevere to do what’s right for our children, our family, and the kids we have a direct influence over. This is what your kids want and need.

What’s keeping you from giving it to them?

Spiritual Umbrellas, part 2

I finally got my wish! One of the members in my youth group held an umbrella over my head! It was awesome to have this kind of treatment, especially during my birthday week!

The next Spiritual Umbrella that every young person needs to recognize and submit to and that is the umbrella of parents.

Why Parents? Parenting is the agency that teaches the next generation the ways of God! Take some time and read through Deut. 6:1-9 and you will see the huge responsibilities that parents have. Talk about pressure! In order for you to have God’s blessing in your life you must submit to your parents! How? Ephesians 6:1-3.

You must Outwardly Obey your Parents (v.1) – This is manifested in your actions. Obeying your parents outwardly means to submit, yield, and surrender to their authority. God calls this righteous living!

You must Inwardly Honor your Parents (v.2) – This is where it gets tough! You can go “though the motions” of outward obedience, but do you inwardly respect your parents with your attitude?

You would have no problem regarding (honoring) a highly educated, well-known doctor, because he knows what he is talking about. You would take his advice with no problem. This should be your attitude towards you parents! They may not be perfect, but they are God’s way of protecting and guiding you. So honor them! Many times they know what they are talking about!

Why? Why? Why? (v.3) – God promises blessing and protection when you living under the umbrella of your parents. Read the verse! You can’t go wrong here!

If you are in a position of rebellion against your parents, you are among the most miserable people walking the planet. Don’t spend your life trying to break free from your parents rule. God will honor and bless you if you obey and honor them! Go do it!

Spiritual Umbrellas, Part 1

Umbrellas have been part of culture more many centuries! They have served many purposes throughout those centuries. For example, in ancient Middle East history servants would hold an umbrella over their king’s head while he rode around in his chariot (only if we could get youth groups to do that with their youth pastors! Ha!).

 

In ancient Egypt the princess would travel around in her chariot (those things must have been popular, where can I get one?!) with an umbrella to not only protect herself from the sun rays but to show off its decorative qualities. I’m sure they had lots of fun at those annual umbrella fashion shows!

 

The Aztecs used umbrellas as flags made with feathers and gold. Its humors to think about manly Aztec warriors marching and fighting to an umbrella! I would have paid money to see that!

 

There is an awesome spiritual lesson we can learn from something as simple as an umbrella, and that is living life under authority.

 

Right now, the “sun rays” of Satan and pop-culture are trying to get us to question, reject, and resent authority. They want us to believe that it is a wonderful and liberating thing to have no restraints or authority. They are attempting to “soak” us with the lies that authority is out to take advantage, manipulate, exploit, and make our life miserable.

 

Can I tell you the truth? This is something that Satan and pop-culture will not tell you? Ready?

 

Submitting to God’s structure of authority will always result in God’s blessing. Alright, stop and read that again!

 

Here are 4 fast facts about authority! This is Authority 101.

 

1) Everyone is under authority – You will never live a day of your life when you are not asked or required to submit to some kind of authority. You will never out grow it or avoid it. Everyone lives under authority and the sooner you embrace this as part of your life you will grow in spiritual maturity and see God’s blessing in your life.

 

2) Human authority is not perfect – Every person reading this right now could easily find some kind failure, hypocrisy, or mistake in human authority. If you are looking for a reason to not trust and submit to authority in your life, then you don’t have to look very far.  However, just because human authority falls short doesn’t cancel out authority in your life. Authority is still a wonderful thing!

 

3) Human authority is for your protection – Think of the authorities in your life as a wall of protection or a hedge. They are there to protect you!

 

The first thing that came to my mind to illustrate this truth was software that protects my computer from corrupt viruses. The software/program can be very expensive, time consuming, devours a lot of memory, and can slow my computer down, but I know it’s fighting to protect my computer from nasty trojans.

 

In the same way, authority (parents, pastors, teachers, etc) in your life are doing the same thing! They are fighting day and night to protect you from danger that lies ahead. They are standing shoulder to shoulder diligently willing to fight off the spiritual enemy on your behalf! You may not be able to see or understand all the reasons why your authorities protect you in the way that they do, but realize that it’s for your benefit.

 

4) Authority is a gift from God – There aren’t too many people these days who are willing to stand up for what is right and protect and warn you from danger. THANK GOD FOR THOSE WHO DO! Many of your authorities engage into battle on your behalf and are willing to risk your hate, your resentment, your rejection, but they love you way too much to see you get hurt.

 

Stop believing the cultural lies that authority is bad and start thanking God for moms and dads, pastors and youth pastors, and teachers who are willing to be that umbrella of protection for you!

Having a Heart for God!

Having a heart for God is something we often pray for, hear sermons on, think about, long for, and read about in the Psalms (27:4; 42:1-2; 84:1-4). But what does this look like? What does a “heart for God” look like practically?  Allow me to submit five (5) practical items that indicate a heart for God (main points excerpted from Paul Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”).

1) Personal Worship & Devotion – When we have a genuine heart for God there will be a fervent desire to spend personal time with God. This type of fellowship happens primarily through studying His Word and in prayer. A Christian who is submitted to God will independently make time for personal worship and devotion. James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”  

2) Desire for Corporate Worship & Instruction – When the weekend approaches what is usually our first thought or reaction about going to church? When we are genuinely pursuing God we will crave, first, for corporate worship, because that is where we can express love and thanksgiving to God for His person and work with people who share the same desire. Psalm 96:7-9, “Give unto the LORD, O ye kindreds of the people, give unto the LORD glory and strength. Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come into his courts. O worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.”  

Secondly, we will long for church on Sunday because of the preaching and teaching of God’s Word. Christians who have a heart for God are hungry and thirsty for solid Biblical instruction and joyfully embrace it rather than looking for ways to avoid it. On a side note, doctrine (biblical instruction) determines how we live our daily life (practical application). For example, you won’t live by faith unless you know God is faithful and trustworthy. 1 Timothy 3:15, “…the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.”

3) Pursuit for Christian Fellowship – When we have heart for God we will want to spend quality time with others who share the same faith. Christian fellowship is where we can receive help, counsel, friendships, accountability, and encouragement. Hebrews 10:25, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

4) Willing to Discuss Spiritual Matters – Many Christians are closed, defensive, insecure, embarrassed, and unwilling to discuss spiritual needs or things because they don’t see the importance of following God’s will, parental guidance, or spending time in prayer about life matters. When we have a heart for God we will be humble, open, transparent, and willing to discuss spiritual matters with God, our parents, our pastor, or spiritual mentor. Proverbs 11:14, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”     

5) Approaches Decision-making from a Biblical Perspective – Everyday we are faced with many small decisions that eventually add up to big results! When we have a heart for God we will approach decision making from a biblical perspective rather than an impulsive, emotional, and self-pleasing point of view. Every decision we make ought to point to God’s glory somehow. Establishing this mind-set is tough, but by God’s sufficient grace is obtainable. 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

We have many dreams, hopes, wishes, plans, ideas, goals, or visions for our life or for someone else’s life. Many times we get so focused on pursuing so many different things or trying to please various people we fail to develop a heart for God. Is your highest mission in life to develop a heart for God? A heart for God is the root that produces long term fruit of godliness!

Note to Parents: Do you see these items present in the life of your teenager/child? If not, then perhaps a lot of their spirituality is false and they are waiting till the pressures of being religious are removed to show their true colors. Most likely they have learned this “form of Christianity” from you (Deut. 6:1-9).