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Category Archives: Sanctification

Teen Trap #4: Sexual Impurity

The #1 trap Satan would love for you to fall into is the trap of sexual impurity. Sex is a very sacred subject with very high consequences! Your response to this post could save you from a broken marriage, broken home, divorce, unplanned children, infidelity, etc.

You need to know the truth about sex! Sadly, generations of parents have stopped teaching their children about sex. You need guidance and a place of safety where you can transparently talk about these things. The reason many teens are giving in to sexual impurity is because they don’t what is real and what is fake. Pop-culture and Satan are doing a good job at twisting and distorting the truth. Anything of value is worth fighting for!

A Biblical example of sexual impurity is found in 2 Samuel 11:1-27. King David places himself into an environment where he would be sexually tempted. He bows to that temptation and has sex with another man’s wife, Bathsheba. King David finds out that she is pregnant and goes into panic mode to cover up his sexual sin. That doesn’t work and David ends up paying a very high price tag for his sexual impurity! V.27, “But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.”

A Biblical example of sexual purity is found in Genesis 39:1-23. Joseph is working diligently as a servant in Potiphar’s house and has an opportunity to have sex with another man’s wife. Potiphar’s wife day after day hounds Joseph to have sex with her and Joseph refuses because he wants to honor and obey God. He eventually removes himself from this sexual temptation and God blesses and promotes Joseph and greatly uses him later in Pharaoh’s kingdom. V.23, “…the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the Lord made it to prosper.”

 7 Statements about Sexual Impurity

1. I understand that sex is a sensitive and critical topic regarding my life and future. – This contradicts everything pop-culture wants you to believe. They want to joke about this, they lie about this, they are seeking to pervert your thinking, and it’s no big deal! I’m here to tell you that how you view sex WILL determine the kind of future you will have.

2. I acknowledge that out of all the ways Satan can trap me, sexual impurity is the #1 way! –Satan is seeking to destroy your teen years so you will have a terrible adult life with lots of emotional baggage, guilt, and regret. He wants to paralyze any potential you have for serving God. So, he uses SEX to do that. Sex is the #1 target he has on your back right now. He wants you to be out-of-control sexually! He wants you to be led around by your sexual desires and emotions. Doesn’t it make sense now why every TV show, movie, song, marketing commercial is focused on sex?!  PROTECT YOUR PURITY!

3. It is vital that I maintain a close relationship with authority (preferably my parents) that can help me know the truth about sex from the Bible. – Parents have a tough time talking to their kids about sex. It’s uncomfortable. The easy thing to do is just to talk to your friends about it or watch a movie, but when you talk to your parents about sex you will get PURE truth!!! You need to ask questions to someone who loves you and wants to protect you!! (If your parents haven’t or won’t, please talk to your youth pastor and wife). YOU NEED PURE TRUTH!

4. The reason I have sexual desires as a teenager is so I can prepare for a pure marriage and adult life. – Think about this…do you ever wonder why God activates you sexually at like 12 or 13, but then you have to wait like 10 years before you can fulfill those desires in the boundaries of marriage? Wanna know why? God wants you to have time to prepare for a pure marriage and adult life! Before puberty teen boys are still building tree forts with “no girls allowed” signs and girls are playing with Barbie dolls! You aren’t thinking about marriage, love, relationships, and SEX. But NOW…this stuff gets your attention, you are drawn to many of these things. You need time to prepare to deal with these physical and emotional changes. What better time to prepare than in your teen years! DON’T FIGHT OR NEGLECT THE PREPARATION!

5. I must remove myself from any environments that are perverting and defiling my sexual purity. – You will continue to get pumped with all kinds of lies about sex until you remove yourself from those environments. Do what Joseph did! Put on your running shoes!

6. I believe that sexual purity before marriage is the best way to start an awesome marriage! – I promise you that if you keep yourself pure for your wedding day you will be on a biblical foundation for that marriage! This is God’s way (Gen. 2:24-25)!

7. I believe God’s plan and will commit myself to sexual purity. Stay Pure! Stay Pure! Stay Pure! – God wants you to remain pure, because God is a pure and holy God. You must reflect that in your life. Teenagers and young adults today who are sexually pure are rare and will present many witnessing opportunities.

Someone, somewhere, at some point will try to get you to become sexually active in some way. If you choose to remain sexually pure in a sexually impure world, God will give you the gift of awesome life!

Finish this statement: In order for me to remain sexually pure I will . . .

Credit: A part of this outline is adapted from Cary Schmidt, student pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church. He has made his sermon material available for this study on Teen Traps. 

Teen Trap #1: Bad Attitude

Traps are set all throughout your teen & adult life. These traps look attractive and sweet, but underneath there is a lot of pain and hurt. The first trap is the trap of a BAD ATTITUDE.

What is attitude? An attitude is your spirit. It is the spiritual state of your heart and mind. It is the part of you that generates your outlook on life and impacts your behavior and responses. Simply put, your attitude is the by-product of your heart! The real you!  It is how you view and respond to events that happen in your life.

A Biblical example of a bad attitude is the life of Jonah (Jonah 1-4). He got angry at God when revival broke out in Nineveh.  His bad attitude corrupted every other area of his life and resulted in a bad life.

A Biblical example of a good (right) attitude is the life of Joseph (Genesis 39:21-23). He was betrayed by his brothers, sold in to slavery, and framed by Potiphar’s wife and he responded with joy and God used him greatly in Pharaoh’s kingdom during the 7 years of famine!

Here are 6 Statements about your attitude you need to know:

1. Everyone struggles with the control of their attitude. You are not alone! – This is not just a teen thing. Take comfort in the fact that adults struggle with their attitude. But get victory now! If you allow a bad attitude to control you it will mess up your life on multiple levels. Everyone will face something (simple or complex) this week where your attitude will be challenged.

2. If Satan can get your attitude, He can get the rest of your life. –Everything flows from your attitude. If he can get your mind twisted (cynical, sarcastic, defiant, rebellious, bitter, scorn, etc) you will behave in a way that is unchristlike. A bad attitude brings bad decisions brings bad consequences brings a bad life.

3. You don’t have the power to choose the many events of your life, but you do have the power to choose your attitude. – You don’t have control over the amount of homework you receive, your parent’s marital decisions, your health, your car problems, your work schedule, economical & political things, or the weather! But you do have the ability to choose how you will respond (your attitude) to those things. Life is 10% of what happens to you, 90% is your attitude.

4. A Bad attitude shows itself in several unchristlike ways. – When you choose to have a stinky attitude many unchristlike responses begin to manifest themselves in your life.

5. The Holy Spirit never generates or permits a bad attitude. Never! – Sad to say, but many Christians sum their life up on some simple phrase, “Life Stinks!” Your bad attitude is not from God, but YOU! You are living in the flesh, you are not spirit filled (Gal. 5:22-23).

6. Nothing has a greater impact on the outcomes of your life than the attitudes you choose. – Regardless of your education, talents, music ability, popularity, or athletic skills people want to be around someone who has a great attitude about life. Not a grumpy, grouchy, and irritable person. You tend to avoid people with bad attitudes (unless you are one of them!). Your attitude has a great impact on your life!

 Will you make the decision, with God’s help, to have a good attitude from this day forward?

Credit: Much of this outline is adapted from Cary Schmidt, student pastor at Lancaster Baptist Church. He has made his sermon material available for this study on Teen Traps. 

Consider Your Ways!

Last night, I shared with our youth ministry that our new theme for 2011 is “Consider Your Ways.” Each January, I look forward to launching a biblical theme that the Lord has burdened me with attached with ministry goals that the teenagers can strive for.

I challenged them to evaluate every area of their life to see if God is really first place. Every decision they make is based on the priorities they establish and those priorities are founded on what they consider to be preeminent in their life. I presented 3 questions that I would like for you to consider as you begin a new year:

  • Why should God have first place in my life? Take some time and make a list of reasons why God should have first place. This exercise will attach reasoning behind what you do and why you do it.
  • What things does God put a high priority on in Scripture? Go through your Bible and make note of the things God considers a priority and make those a priority in your life. 
  • How will I put this into action this year? Develop an action plan. Put these truths into action. Commit to putting God first this year!

“Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways.” – Haggai 1:5

Having a Heart for God!

Having a heart for God is something we often pray for, hear sermons on, think about, long for, and read about in the Psalms (27:4; 42:1-2; 84:1-4). But what does this look like? What does a “heart for God” look like practically?  Allow me to submit five (5) practical items that indicate a heart for God (main points excerpted from Paul Tripp’s book “Age of Opportunity”).

1) Personal Worship & Devotion – When we have a genuine heart for God there will be a fervent desire to spend personal time with God. This type of fellowship happens primarily through studying His Word and in prayer. A Christian who is submitted to God will independently make time for personal worship and devotion. James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”  

2) Desire for Corporate Worship & Instruction – When the weekend approaches what is usually our first thought or reaction about going to church? When we are genuinely pursuing God we will crave, first, for corporate worship, because that is where we can express love and thanksgiving to God for His person and work with people who share the same desire. Psalm 96:7-9, “Give unto the LORD, O ye kindreds of the people, give unto the LORD glory and strength. Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come into his courts. O worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.”  

Secondly, we will long for church on Sunday because of the preaching and teaching of God’s Word. Christians who have a heart for God are hungry and thirsty for solid Biblical instruction and joyfully embrace it rather than looking for ways to avoid it. On a side note, doctrine (biblical instruction) determines how we live our daily life (practical application). For example, you won’t live by faith unless you know God is faithful and trustworthy. 1 Timothy 3:15, “…the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.”

3) Pursuit for Christian Fellowship – When we have heart for God we will want to spend quality time with others who share the same faith. Christian fellowship is where we can receive help, counsel, friendships, accountability, and encouragement. Hebrews 10:25, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

4) Willing to Discuss Spiritual Matters – Many Christians are closed, defensive, insecure, embarrassed, and unwilling to discuss spiritual needs or things because they don’t see the importance of following God’s will, parental guidance, or spending time in prayer about life matters. When we have a heart for God we will be humble, open, transparent, and willing to discuss spiritual matters with God, our parents, our pastor, or spiritual mentor. Proverbs 11:14, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”     

5) Approaches Decision-making from a Biblical Perspective – Everyday we are faced with many small decisions that eventually add up to big results! When we have a heart for God we will approach decision making from a biblical perspective rather than an impulsive, emotional, and self-pleasing point of view. Every decision we make ought to point to God’s glory somehow. Establishing this mind-set is tough, but by God’s sufficient grace is obtainable. 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

We have many dreams, hopes, wishes, plans, ideas, goals, or visions for our life or for someone else’s life. Many times we get so focused on pursuing so many different things or trying to please various people we fail to develop a heart for God. Is your highest mission in life to develop a heart for God? A heart for God is the root that produces long term fruit of godliness!

Note to Parents: Do you see these items present in the life of your teenager/child? If not, then perhaps a lot of their spirituality is false and they are waiting till the pressures of being religious are removed to show their true colors. Most likely they have learned this “form of Christianity” from you (Deut. 6:1-9).

Keeping Spiritual Decisions!

Summer Bible Camp is such an exciting and needful time! I’m so thankful that my church as the opportunity to take teens and juniors to camp at The Wilds for an entire week where they receive solid Bible preaching, consistent devotions, encouragement and rebuke in their walk with God, and biblical counsel about life decisions.

Summer after summer the teens come home “on fire for God” with the desire to be a pace setter in their realm of influence. However, camp decisions often become just that…camp decisions…and not life decisions. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

The Bible states in 2 Timothy 3:14, “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them.” How can one keep his or her camp decisions? Here are few things to implement.

Inform your Parents – Saved or unsaved let your parents know what God is doing in your heart. Allow them to see how God is working in your life and that you want to do right. This will speak volumes to your parents! Oftentimes, teens will come home and just tell their parents about all the fun they had and friends they made, but don’t overlook the most needful thing (and really the whole point in going) and that is the spiritual lessons you learned. Don’t be ashamed of the gospel in your home!

Focus on the Long Term – Discouragement seems to be Satan’s favorite tool to destroy any zeal Christians have for serving God. When you decide to put God first in every area of your life Satan works to place obstacles in your way to hinder you from godly living. One of those obstacles is to get discouraged with the short term struggles in hopes to derail you from the long term view. Keep your eyes on the prize! When you establish a high level of concentration on the long term view you will maintain daily obedience.  Remember, spiritual growth takes time. It’s not an overnight process. As you remain focus on the long term you will stay encouraged with the present day.      

Accountability – Two are better than one (Eccl. 4:9-12)! Seek out someone who will strive to keep you accountable on your decision. Someone who will ask the hard questions, confronts you when necessary, and encourages you in difficult times. I strongly recommend your parents and/or Pastor or Youth Pastor (or their wives) to be your accountability partner. They have a desire to see you grow and stay faithful in your walk with God. Don’t delay. Accountability will help you stay on the right path!  

Review – Many people roll their eyes, deeply sigh, or cry out in frustration when it comes to reviewing. But reviewing is where it’s at! Lessons that you have learned will not become permanent and productive unless you are constantly reviewing them. Do not get caught up in the trap that you always have to be learning something new every day. It is easier for you to be a forgetful hearer than a doer of the word. Therefore, you must take your time and assure that you are truly learning the current lesson by reviewing, reviewing, and reviewing. Action Tip: Listen to the same sermon more than once, look over your notes, re-read through your devotional book, etc.      

Be Spirit-filled – Lastly, do not depend on your own strength to live the Christian life. God never intended for you to be self-dependent. A God-dependent Christian is a victorious Christian. Take a look at some of these awesome promises in the Bible:

  • Zechariah 4:6 – “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”
  • 2 Corinthians 9:8 – “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work.”
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
  • James 4:6 –“But he giveth more grace. Therefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”

I pray this will help guide you on making these camp decisions lifetime decisions! Be reminded what Ecclesiastes 5:4 states, “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.”